The Haunted Gym

A TRUE STORY…

LYRICS

October night in ’92, I had nothing else to do
I decided to go for a swim so I went down to my local gym
The parking lot was cloaked with fog
In the distance – a howling dog
As soon as I walked through the door
I noticed something there on the floor
To my dismay, a severed head
Apparently the staff was dead
I was certain that I’d meet my doom
When I found some coffins in the locker room
Blood was splattered on the walls
And flowing from the toilet stalls
What I’d see next would make me shit my pants
It was 12x scarier than the Monster Mash™

It was the Gym – It was the Haunted Gym
The Haunted Gym – only ghouls are allowed in
Where monsters get fit and trim
It was the Haunted Gym
It was the Gym – it was the Haunted Gym
The Haunted Gym – where ghastly creatures swim
The atmosphere is dark and grim
Down at the Haunted Gym

Frankenstein was in the back
Maxing out on the squat rack
Whilst his bride, I should mention
Was working out on the leg extension
The Creature from the Black Lagoon
Relaxing in the sauna room
Zombie on the mill o’ tread
Holy shit, that dude’s undead!
Wolfman shooting a sweet skyhook
While the mummy was blocking him by the book
What do I see? A gruesome ghoul
Doing laps in the swimming pool
Dracula was working hard
Doing some curls to blast his arms
His biceps were so fucking large
That’s why he is the monster in charge!

It was the Gym – It was the Haunted Gym
The Haunted Gym – only ghouls are allowed in
Where monsters go to get fit and trim
It was the Haunted Gym
It was the Gym – it was the Haunted Gym
The Haunted Gym – it was a graveyard smash
The atmosphere is dark and grim
Down at the Haunted Gym

The Haunted Gym… whatever happened to my Transylvania Twist?